Nicole Libera– Popular couples therapist with over 10 million followers across Instagram, TikTok, and X-rated Seven behavioral patterns For couples in a long-term relationship. Here’s how they can do it – and you can too.
1. Be friends with each other
People in long-term relationships really value spending time with each other, Libera says in a tweet on X. “They were excited to get home and see each other after a long day,” she says. “They loved doing little things together. Friendship was the foundation of their relationship.”
2. Navigating Dark Times Together
Just because the couple has been together for so long doesn’t mean they haven’t had tough times where they questioned the relationship. But facing adversity didn’t stop them from moving forward. In fact, it helped them build resilience, Lepera says.
Couples who have stayed together have overcome difficult times that put them at a crossroads—even leading them to question the relationship. What matters in such situations is that they chose to stay together, work through it, and come out stronger.
“This has built confidence,” Libera wrote on Twitter.
3. Make fun of each other’s quirks.
Sometimes, our quirks can turn into our biggest fears. Whether it’s an obsession with a certain book series or a strict 10-step skincare routine, these are the little things we do that make us unique—and the best partners will appreciate these qualities as part of us.
Recognizing these shortcomings, the partners made light-hearted confessions, but they were never overly critical, Libera says.
“Even if they are annoying sometimes,” she says.
4. Don’t try to change your partner.
Libera has this advice for all those people who say, “But I can change them”: Don’t do it. It’s not enough to just accept their weirdness: if you want a lasting relationship with someone, you have to accept and love them as they are.
“There was a basic level of respect and admiration,” says Libera. “That freedom brought out the best in each of them.”
5. fight right
It’s okay to get on each other’s nerves from time to time – just make sure you know how to fight in a healthy way.
“They knew how to deal with struggles, recover, and move forward,” Libera wrote in a tweet.
6. having difficult conversations
Libera has observed that couples in strong, long-term relationships are willing to engage in difficult conversations, even if their perspectives are challenged. In fact, being open to each other’s perspectives has been key to growing through these difficult conversations.
Regular communication—without avoidance or denial when difficult topics arose—was key.
But what made these interactions better, Libera points out, was the emotional regulation, which ensured “conversations rarely turned into explosions.”
7. CSetting boundaries with family
It can often be difficult to manage family dynamics as you and your partner become more integrated into each other’s lives. But according to Libera, family boundaries are important to the health of your relationship.
She notes that strong couples “put the relationship first and have clear boundaries with family.”
This might look like choosing not to talk about your relationship problems with your family or not making decisions based on what your family wants, Libera wrote in her tweet.
“They did what was best for their partnership together,” she says.
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