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A Very Bitcoin Christmas

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It was the night before Christmas, and all along the chain, Bitcoin was rising, without anyone experiencing the pain.

The bulls are back, skating on bears left and right, and now six-figure Bitcoin is a daily sight.

All the miners were buzzing, and hashrates were on the rise, locking the network under the winter sky.

Our cars were shiny Lambos, parked under the stars, proof that HODLing beats shitcoins by a long shot.

El Salvador continued to buy more coins to store, before dreams of more coins inevitably came to fruition.

ETFs are on the rise, their offerings are filling the air, and this is the new era of Bitcoin, Satoshi announced.

Our on-chain data, so bright and so clear, screamed “HODL until 2025, huge riches will emerge!”

With supply shrinking, there are only a few coins left to sell, and this is the sound of adoption; Bitcoin inflation.

When it appeared on the charts, such a chant arose, “New all-time high! This is our year!”

In the exchanges we have done, with our portfolios, institutional FOMO has already begun to emerge.

Investors wondered if we could super spin, breaking the system with cheap debt from Michael.

So who should show up in a sleigh decorated with gold? Who else but Trump has a plan so progressive and bold?

“Strategic reserve!” He declared in a growling voice: “I’m sure America’s future is with Bitcoin!”

He winked at the oxen as his sleigh flew, “Merry Christmas to the wanderers, and to the wanderers, good night!”

If you’re looking for a last-minute gift for someone special or want to treat yourself, why not give the gift of a subscription to the Bitcoin data analytics platform, now with a whopping 30% off holiday discount:

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Thanks for reading, and Merry Christmas!

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