Dining out: Mixed bag in culinary outing experience

After more than a decade of reviewing countless restaurants, I’ve learned to approach dinner invitations as “just come and see what you think of our offering” with a healthy dose of scepticism.

However, Vanguard’s invitation stood out from the rest. The personalised poster promised a chef’s table experience, the epitome of culinary showmanship. And who can resist the allure of a masterpiece event?

This restaurant was just three months old and had received a glowing review from a popular YouTuber couple on its Instagram page. What sealed the deal for me was that this extraordinary event was scheduled for a Monday, setting the perfect tempo for the week ahead.

Everything seemed promising. Well, almost everything. The glass counter overlooking what was supposed to be an open kitchen appeared as an afterthought.

In my view, it was merely an extension of the bar, serving as a plating counter at best. Either let patrons witness the kitchen’s inner workings or don’t.

The Westlands location offered opulent views of both old and new Nairobi, with a grand entrance door attended by a burly doorman who exuded warmth as he confirmed our reservation before swinging open the lion-head-adorned door.

The décor is well-thought-out– a humidor here, a reserve spirits cabinet there, exquisite paintings, and spotless lavatories. While it exuded the charm of a classy establishment, a striking image of a saxophonist adorned the wall, injecting a musical note of allure.

All that seemed to be missing was a grand piano. The presence of familiar faces and a curated six-course menu set the stage for what should have been a fireworks presentation.

However, the evening took an unexpected turn. It all began with the microphone failing as soon as the chef welcomed us. This mishap meant that the presentation by the estate manager about the paired wines went unheard.

The music system decided on Afro beats, and our ‘dedicated’ waiter played a game of cat and mouse with us. When our wine arrived, the food did not. The wait dragged on until nine o’clock.

The first course, a soup, was presented beautifully. The rest of it, not really.

Two courses were entirely skipped, but, thankfully, the promised wine— served in champagne flutes—was eventually brought to us. The winery representative attempted to discuss wine, but our conversation remained fixated on the bubbles.

Salvation arrived in the form of a salmon dish at 10 o’clock. However, our hunger had reached a point where we could hardly savour it. Just as it seemed the train was back on its rails, it derailed again.

The ambitious but misspelt Tharmidor’ that I had hoped would redeem the evening fell short of expectations. The cheese clump tumbled from the dish, revealing a mushroom filling and barely any lobster meat. After an apology from the chef, we politely requested dessert. It was very delicious!

→ (email protected)