The following is an excerpt from the book “I'm Not Cruel: 21 Keys to Good Parenting” by George Michael. Visit the Bitcoin Magazine store To order your copy of the book, on sale today.
I started using this phrase as my last words to the kids when I dropped them off at elementary school and I still use it to this day as they get ready to go out with friends or leave the house. Daniel and I frequently talk about one of our primary parenting intentions being to raise children who become leaders. The concept of leadership in our world has become somewhat elusive if not downright confusing. Leadership is not the same as authority and it is not the same as popularity. Just because you are president of the United States does not make you a leader, or at least, it does not automatically make you an imitable leader. Being a celebrity does not mean being a leader to follow, although many celebrities boast countless “fans” who follow them on social media, watch their every move in the tabloids, or even admire them as role models. Effective leadership has become the only thing in this world that is rarer than Bitcoin.
The unfortunate situation of our modern era can be directly linked to the lack of effective leadership. People in power are largely consumed with greed, control, and corruption. This is partly due to a woefully skewed incentive structure exacerbated by a broken monetary system, which allows the rich to easily get richer and allows the corrupt to accelerate unchecked. We'll explore this topic in more depth later, but it's as if things have gotten so bad that those in positions of power no longer even care about optics. They brag and mock their injustice as if to say: “What are you going to do about it?” I believe part of the answer to this question requires playing the long game through sound parenting. If the next generation of parents commits to the vision of raising the next generation of strong leaders, we will begin to make tangible progress in humanity's common struggle for the ideals of freedom, peace and prosperity. If you look at every historical breakthrough during periods in which humans resisted and emerged victorious when faced with tyranny, you will find examples of strong leadership. Ultimately, someone has to raise the next George Washington, and there's no reason it shouldn't be you or me.
Take yourself seriously
I find it funny when people say, “Don't take yourself too seriously.” It's like, how am I supposed to handle myself then? I'm a fairly cheerful person. I like to make people laugh: I can also be over the top with my positive attitude. Life is so short, it begs to be taken by the horns and shaped into all my hopes and dreams. In that sense, I would say that I take myself very seriously. If you don't take yourself seriously, you certainly shouldn't expect anyone else to take you seriously. What an annoying way to live this precious life. I say: take yourself seriously. Have lofty goals. Aspire for a lot. Fail often. show up. Keep moving forward. Laugh out loud. take risks. Be extra. No hedging. Most importantly: teach your children to do the same. Don't listen to the concerns of others who need you to shrink so they can feel better about themselves. Don't stifle your dreams before they even have a chance to see the light of day. The world needs more boldness, more audacity, more outliers who are not afraid to stand up to bullshit. I guarantee you that every legendary historical figure took themselves seriously, their dreams seriously, and their actions seriously. Make no mistake, this is an active, persistent, ongoing decision that requires constant self-reflection and self-awareness. It is not required worrying About what people think of you. Every time you decide to take yourself seriously, you take steps to not only achieve your goals, but also realize your God-given potential.
Take responsibility
Each of us's lives can be summed up in a series of decisions. Every day we become someone, and the person we become is made up of the choices we make. With all the circumstances we face, we can decide: How will I handle this? It is our answer to every question that arises, whether expected, fair, or difficult. The truth is that we are all equipped with the ability to evaluate these situations and determine the best course of action. The combination of using our abilities to respond appropriately illustrates one of the most beautiful words in the English language: responsibility. Seriously, can we just take a moment to appreciate how rich this word is and how important it is in this game of life? Making good choices and being good leaders requires taking responsibility. Teaching our children how to take responsibility for their lives is a fundamental goal of good parenting. Small steps to achieve this outcome start with helping them recognize the real-world impact of each decision. To zoom out even further, it helps them see how much of their current situation boils down to the many decisions they've already made. Yes, everyone has different abilities. Yes, everyone has different response tools at their disposal. But by the same token, each person has the opportunity to assume their own set of responsibilities based on their specific circumstances. The sign of effective leadership lies in the individual's willingness to take on more responsibility than was expected of him. Strong leaders crave responsibility and tend to seek it proactively. In turn, they also have a tendency to make wise, thoughtful, and deliberate decisions in every situation they encounter.
On the other hand, poor decision making can be described as the inability to respond effectively to a given situation. Let's call it the inability to respond for pleasure. This is often a characteristic not only of poor leaders but also of those we might describe as sheep, NPCs, or blind followers. Think about how many bad decisions have been made as a result of “peer pressure” or “following orders.” These are not the kind of children we are trying to raise. We want lions, not sheep. Sadly, the world is awash with uncritical thinkers who are raising uncritical-thinking children who lack the tools to take responsibility — and who would rather have someone else make the decisions for them. Bad decisions tend to escalate, unfortunately, much faster than wise decisions. Once this momentum starts, you have a recipe for results such as addiction, pain, and ultimately regret.
Don't regret it when you're eighty years old
As far as we know, we only live once. There will only be George Samir Najib Mikhail Saad Nasser Masoud. As much as it would be helpful to have, there is no undo button in life. You can't drive Z your way through existence. “Don't regret it when you're 80” is a phrase I've adopted personally, but I've used it with my own children to help illustrate the implications and importance of making a conscious decision and numbering your days. We all feel regret; Things we wish we did differently or things we wish we could change. I treat the idea of regret as a strict description of something literally immutable. Often times we attribute the word regret to situations that can actually be changed but may be very difficult or require a lot of discomfort to achieve said change. Some people will say, “I regret the way things went with Justin,” when in reality, they could pick up the phone and make a call to Justin to fix the relationship. You may not need to call her today, but maybe sometime before you turn 80, you can cross at least one regret off your list. I remember this mantra when I'm faced with a particularly big decision to help me put my choices into perspective. The question behind this statement is: If I decide to do X, what is the probability that I will regret that decision when I am near the end of my life?
It is useful to note that the idea of avoiding regret can turn into an unhealthy obsession, which may lead one to limit risk-taking and express creativity. That's not what I'm suggesting. Instead, we must find a healthy balance when it comes to limiting situations in which irreversible feelings of regret arise. Most importantly, we must train our children on the importance of decision making early in life and help them understand how these decisions, such as interest, compound over time. The sooner our children learn to take responsibility for every action in life, the more mature, wise and self-reliant they will become. Good decisions lead to an outstanding personality. Outstanding character produces excellent leaders. Excellent leaders, raising children who exceed them in every category, because that was the goal all along.