Angela Kinyua enters, her smile like a delicate sword, first to disarm and then to release. She welcomes you, and she welcomes you back. But to carry a certain warmth, she must have felt a certain coldness – and Angela, Montgomery Group’s managing director for East Africa, She stared directly into the sun herself.
This is how she developed her endurance through the books she read.Meditations By Marcus Aurelius – Of the things that happened to her, and the loss of her father. She says: “Memory of death. Remember that you must die.” Because in the midst of life, we are in death.
So she lives in joy, happiness and love. What is life if not the half-brother of death? Or maybe a couple.
She doesn’t separate herself from her fears, but acknowledges them: for example, how she loves dogs but is allergic to them – animals are her great unrequited love, as William Finnegan wrote about Surfing Life in the Barbarian Days“…the ocean is at once the object of your deepest desire and worship, and like an indifferent, infinitely dangerous, and infinitely powerful god.”
On the balcony of her office, amidst the sad woods of Karen, she defends her obsession with the color red. Danger or passion? Why not both, she thinks. And above her, like a crown that fits her head perfectly, the sky is a beautiful poem.
Are you a person of color?
If you count red, I love colors, but I mostly wear black.
Is this your personality?
When I was younger, yes. On campus, I painted my room red, and I had red sheets, comforters, pillowcases, and carpets.
What attracts you to the color red?
I am a Scorpio and I read that the color red only attracts Scorpios.
What is life like as a Scorpio?
It is a tedious and fun process that requires you to put in more effort, but it also teaches you how to set priorities. At every point, you must be aware of how you are using your time.
What do you waste your time on?
Books. Especially when I get a good book. I love George R. R. Martin and the classic novels by Jane Austen. Sometimes I get home tired and want to sleep, then I get a good book, and suddenly it’s 4 a.m.
What book changed the way you think or challenged your perspective?
Well, it has to be Frank McCourt’s autobiography called Angela’s AshesHe has faced many tragedies in his life, but he has bounced back. No matter what challenges he faces, they can always be overcome. I am grateful and appreciative of life now.
Have you ever had a tragic moment like this?
What book would you recommend people to read?
Marcus Aurelius MeditationsIt’s a hard book to read but a nice one.
How did your hobby of reading start?
My dad loved to read. I also have older siblings who read a lot. At first, I would read the first page, the middle page, the last page and tell my dad I read. Then he would ask me a random question and I couldn’t answer it. So I learned to love reading while we were discussing the book.
What do you miss about your childhood?
Carefree nature. The world is an open book, it was a fun time.
How can you stay carefree in your life right now?
I’m an organized person but I leave room for spontaneity. I often ask myself, is this really that serious? And then things go downhill from there. Or is it affecting my growth?
What was your nickname when you were a child?
My uncle liked to call me cat because I was so funny. Some people said I looked like a doll, but I didn’t know how to pronounce the word “watermelon” even though I loved it so much, so I used to call it “Water Minnow” haha!
Do you still like watermelon?
Not as much as I used to when I was younger.
Was it red?
Angela Kenya, Montgomery Group Managing Director for East Africa.
Image source: Francis Nderitu Nation Media Group
What do you remember most about your childhood?
We had a neighbor who had to continue her education. She wasn’t married but had a baby and left it with us for a year. She was only a year and five days older than me, so she became my “twin” – we dressed alike, played together, etc.
Is there a turning point that changed your life forever?
When my father passed away in 2008, I had just arrived on campus. Before he succumbed to his illness, we had deep conversations about life. When he was alive, there was a sense of safety—we rarely closed our doors when he was around. We felt protected. When he passed, we were suddenly vulnerable.
We are sorry for your loss. What was the last conversation you had?
I was the last person to see him alive, I said goodbye to him and told him I loved him, he asked me to choose my own path, and then he died.
How does this affect the way you live your life?
It’s about making sure I’m living my truth. Life is limited but I make sure I’m doing what I want to do and not being influenced by anyone else. If I have to hold myself accountable, I’m living my truth.
Are you someone who feels regret? Is this feeling good for you?
No, yes, learning, no, regret.
What lesson are you learning now?
When should you reinvent yourself? There are things I used to say when I was 20 that I would do by a certain age. Back then, I wasn’t looking past 35. But life has changed. Now it’s about trying to find the next phase of my life: What do I want this phase to look like from health to finance to career?
How do you maintain your composure and not fall into the trap of self-criticism and self-flagellation?
I’ve realized that there are stages in life, and whatever stage you’re in, you have to make the best of it. What’s the best thing I can do at this stage? It doesn’t have to be financial; it can be self-improvement. It’s all about finding balance.
By the way, how do you show love to yourself?
Oh, I love myself. I make time for myself, and that time is for thinking about things: reading a book, taking a walk, spending some time with myself. Sometimes I go out and buy myself a gift.
What is the most thoughtful gift you have ever received?
Oh my gosh, this is hard! My mom has this way of anticipating what I need in advance. She’s so aware of my needs.
What is a lesson you learned from your mother that you use to manage your life?
A woman can take charge without being harsh. My mom is loving and caring but when she needs to be firm and make her point, she is very clear. She is strong. We have all grown up but we have such respect for her.
What is your biggest fear right now?
I’ve read a lot about Stoicism and one of the things they have is Mori memento—Remember, you must die. It is wonderful to know that I may die today. What do you need to do in this life? Do the best you can with the time you are given.
What will people be sad about when you’re gone?
People say I love them, and I hope they miss the love I show them.
How do they show you love?
Having a good time, doing good deeds, giving gifts. It depends on the person and how they interpret it. I think they should understand your love language and show you love that way, not the other way around.
We are many things to many people, a friend to your friends, a daughter to your parents – so who are you to you?
Shouldn’t I be everything? What else could I be?
If you could teach the world one thing, what would it be?
Love. If I love you, you get all the other actions. I won’t do anything to hurt you, but I will make you a better person. The Bible was right when it talked about love.
Why is love a beneficial emotion for you?
Love guides you in many ways. If I see a beggar on the street, if I don’t have love in my heart, I will move on. But if I have love, how can I help him?
What do you love most about yourself?
My ability to pick myself up and keep going. Good (Okay), it happened. Ignore it. Let’s move on.
How do you define happiness now?
I wake up every day with a song in my heart. Happiness comes from being grateful for your life, your family, and even the mistakes and challenges you will face.
On a scale of one to five, where are you on the happiness index?
What is something that never fails to make you laugh?
Cute Animal Videos. I love animals but I am allergic to most of them, especially dogs.
What serious embarrassing goal do you have?
Lord Jesus, can I get there? (long pause) Empowering women. Imagine having a program for girls, especially teenagers, that aims to make them know their voice in society and grow. Sometimes your goal is just to get them married or to find someone to take care of them – but then you can make an impact in any way. It’s not bad (whatever goal you choose), but create a program where women can understand and own their place in society.
Can you say you have been honest with yourself so far?
I lived to the rhythm of my life.
What is the soundtrack to your life right now?
I have eclectic music taste! I may be sentimental but when I listen to X, I just want to fall with her And money Haha!
Can we have it all?
It depends on your definition. If I want to have 16 kids, run a business, get fit, and be an elder in a church, that can be hard to achieve. It’s important to realize that there are stages where one aspect takes precedence, for example, spending time with family or leadership. Once you have a definition for everything in your life, then you can get there.
What do you need more of in your life?
More money, more love, more fun.
What is something you thought was true for a long time but over time realized it wasn’t?
(Long silence) I used to think that everyone was naturally good, but that’s not true for everyone.
Did someone offend you?
And others too. Some people portray themselves as messengers to heaven. But then you realize it was all just a game.
What did you finally come up with?
That’s the reality of life, you can’t do everything. As you grow older, you realize that life is more complicated than it was in Alice in Wonderland; then you realize that this is the world we live in, your reality, and you can’t live in a perfect world.
If you could tell me just one thing, what would you tell me?
Have fun, it’s never that serious. If you died today, what would you do? Do it.
When it comes to death, would you rather know when or how?
Well, when? I hope the “how” is less painful. The “when” then is a reminder of my mortality.
Is there something you’ve been putting off?
I am doing my masters, there is always not enough time, that is the excuse.
Who do you know that I know?
Do you know George R.R. Martin? Haha! There was a guy I met who was so cute in his aura that I was blown away by it. I wanted to wrap him in a bubble so that this hateful world wouldn’t violate him. Unfortunately I don’t even remember who it was, haha!
