I read something once: “Home has a physical definition; A house has a spirituality.” So a house can be easily described: made of wood, concrete, and both. A house? Well, this is what remains when the house is no longer there.
James Moss seems to think about his home a lot. The kind of father he grew up under. What kind of father he is. What kind of father could he be. I can see him twitching his eyes and searching the corners of his brain as he tries to understand this house he's building: how to be a better father. He wants to be his children's friend, not their best friend. It is an excellent foundation. People who know about such things tell me.
Here in the glassy Koza Asset Management offices in Prism Towers on Upper Hill, he is pensive but present. He's built Coza, an asset management company, brick by brick, and now he wants to settle down, to be present, because that kind of stability is a metaphor for something that has to be internalized — the difference between what home means when you're young and when you're old. .
What makes you you?
My story is a testament to hard work. The reason I'm here is because I know good things don't come easy and you have to put in the work. But amid the success, I remained humble.
What are you currently experiencing?
I am a father of two children, aged seven years and 17 months. I've always wanted to be a better father than my father, but it's a challenge. My father was a disciplinarian. Being the middle child, I was always fighting with my older and younger brothers. Then our parents will punish us. So, what I do differently is give the opportunity and instill confidence in my children to speak up. He disagreed with me on introspection.
What's this fun thing you do?
I am the caddy for my oldest son. Sometimes we fight because he has his own opinions, and I, being his father, insist on my opinions and it turns out he was right, haha! Golf teaches you a lot, especially how to enjoy your own company because it is a sport you can play alone.
How did the fights affect your relationship with your son?
Not much has changed. His confidence has certainly gone up, especially boosted at times when it turns out I was wrong and he was right.
How do you balance correcting him as a father and a caddy?
As a model bearer, you are supposed to make a suggestion, and then the player may choose to accept it or disagree with you. There have been cases where children have fired their parents as can carriers, and I don't want that to happen, haha! I need to improve on that and accept when I make mistakes.
One time I deprived him of some chocolate and found him taking it without permission, and later I saw in his diary that he wrote: “My father is mean.” That amazed me. Now I correct, but with love.
How do you preserve your childhood in your life?
I'm a big fan of Formula 1, so I love going karting. I'm also a regular at the gym where I try to push my limits.
James Moss, CEO of Kuza Asset Management, wants to be his children's friend, not their best friend.
Image credit: Billy Ogada | Nation Media Group
When and why did you choose karting?
It was at a company event.
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
For a long time, I lived carefree, just enjoying myself. When I turned 40, I made a promise to myself that I would make good choices with my health. I also hold a ten minute plank record at my gym haha!
What didn't you do in your 30s but are struggling with in your 40s?
I've always been busy, always travelling. Part of the inspiration to create Koza came during one of those trips. But now I'm struggling to slow down because in life you have to find balance. I only do it if it's work related.
What does it do just for you?
I go to the gym to de-stress. It has been my best investment. At least three days a week.
How did you meet your wife?
We were working in the same industry (finance). I'm actually a client of hers at the moment. When we met, I was a portfolio manager at a local investment firm and she was coming to present her report. The employer was also looking for an analyst and we liked her presentation and considered hiring her for a position in which I offered to be the liaison. She wasn't interested, but I developed other interests. The rest is history, haha!
What caught your attention about it?
When I met her I was ready to settle down. I was looking for someone bright and beautiful, and that's what I had in her.
Why do you keep choosing it?
Marriage isn't easy but it keeps you going, especially if you have the right partner, which is the best I can get. Even when we fight, we succeed. I bring a lot to this marriage and I'm making sure I play my part.
Are you a better husband, father or leader?
I try to improve all of them every day. I'm a work in progress, but I know I'm above average in all of these areas. I can't plateau.
What did your recent heartbreak teach you?
Haha! I never felt sad.
When you think of the weekend what food comes to mind?
It always used to be steak until my doctor told me I had eaten enough steak. Now, I'm into fish. But I'm not a vegetarian.
What is the soundtrack of your life?
Just do the right thing. I manage people's money and it takes a lot of trust to get money from strangers. Trust is hard to build but it can be lost in a heartbeat (snap fingers).
What is your superpower?
I am brave. Even when no one wants to believe in me, if it makes sense to me, I'll move forward.
What is your insecurity now, as a man?
I'm worried about how I'll turn out as a father. I want my kids, when they're in their 20s and 30s, to always look forward to talking to their dad. If I achieve everything but that, I won't be satisfied.
What do you thank yourself for?
Surviving my twenties. Those were crazy years. There were mistakes that only God could see through.
What do you apologize to yourself for?
My father was very strict. But this is what he knows best because he was raised not by his parents, but by his uncles who administered “proper” discipline. Letting go of that took too long.
Have you forgiven him and yourself?
Yes after becoming a father, haha! I realized that it is not easy to be as good a parent as you want.
What is your favorite question to ask people?
Why do you do what you do?
