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Marius van der Ham: AirFrance-KLM Kenya boss privilege and small ego issue

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The love story of the dark suit and the crisp white shirt has been written ad nauseam, but I didn’t write it. I’m different. It’s not news, but because I said it, it’s new.

At least that’s what I think when Marius Van der Ham, Air France-KLM’s general manager for East and Southern Africa, Nigeria and Ghana, walks in, a tall, softly spoken public relations move that illustrates why the suit has replaced the hat that once served as a badge separating the ambitious CEO from the lower-level workers. Sometimes the suit wears the man, sometimes the man wears the suit.

Here’s a quick cheat sheet for the man: Big table. Marius loves big tables. To laugh, to socialize, to eat. I’ve been told he’s a man of few words, cutting his sentences short and giving quick retorts. He’s Dutch, after all, and not known to beat around the bush.

But it’s the bushes that call Marius. I can tell because his face lights up when he talks about his walks, the animals he sees, the terrain. Oh, the terrain. “A hill every other kilometre!” he says, wiping his face away, and I’m not sure whether he’s pleased or displeased. What do the Dutch say? “Het is zool het is.” That’s the way it is.

Do you remember the first time you got on a plane?

Yes, in the Netherlands. We had domestic flights, and I must have been about five years old. I was on a trip with my grandparents, about 100 kilometers. The second time was when I was about 13, and it was my first big trip with my family to the United States.

Did you know you would get here?

It was a coincidence, even an opportunity. I was studying at university in the Netherlands, doing my master’s thesis and needed an internship. My roommate worked at KLM, the Dutch airline, and recommended me for an internship there, and here we are.

What was the biggest culture shock you faced in Kenya?

I have dealt with different cultures in my career and I have never been too concerned about it. Kenyans and Dutch are not that different, and maybe not everyone says things directly here sometimes, but in general people express their opinions.

If you were guaranteed success, would this still be the career you chose?

Yes, I have been lucky during my 12 years at KLM. I spent a decade outside of France, where I got to know different people and cultures. I have been lucky.

What is a place you have gone that has stayed in your mind?

Atlanta, USA. As a child of the 90s growing up in Western Europe, American pop culture seemed like the coolest place to live. I was super excited but a little disappointed when I actually experienced it, haha! But Kenya was also great, living in the vibrant and scenic Nairobi just hours away from the city.

Did you pick up any trends in popular culture while living in the United States?

It was a bit disappointing, from my point of view (laughs).

What makes you you?

Tough questions now, aren’t they? I’m an open-minded, easy-going guy who doesn’t get stressed easily and looks for practical solutions in my daily life – both at work and in my personal life. I try not to worry too much; I like to know where we’re going, but the road there is open.

You seem very analytical.

It depends on where you work in the airline. I worked the longest on the business side of the airline – pricing – and enjoyed learning how money is made and how tickets are priced. The other side is all about safety and the procedures needed to ensure safe, reliable operations and a good focus on the customer.

How did you maintain your spontaneity in your life?

My family and I love getting out into nature. We have two young children and two dogs, and on the weekends we settle down and drive to Nairobi National Park or out of town.

Are you a fan of bushes or the beach?

Well, in the end, I’ll choose Bush.

Who is the dog person between you and your wife?

We both do! I’ve had a dog since forever, even before I was born, we had a dog in the family. The first chance we got when we lived with my wife, we got a dog.

What did dogs teach you?

Dogs live in the moment. They only see what is happening in your life at that moment, and they are very reactive to behavior in general. Dogs have taught me that you get what you give out immediately. I think that applies to business as well.

Which is easier, running a family or running a business?

Sometimes it’s easier to run a business because my position carries a little more weight than it does in the family.

What kind of father are you?

I like to give my kids space, set boundaries, and let them do what they want and find their way, but let them know that they can come to me when they have questions.

Were you raised the same way?

My wife and I grew up with some boundaries, and maybe that’s why. (laughs)

What do you miss most about your childhood?

My childhood was happy. I had a lot of freedom within limits, but it was a time free from neglect. Sometimes you long for that freedom.

How do you stay childish now?

I try not to worry too much about things I can’t control.

What is your biggest insecurity as a parent?

It’s mostly about the anxiety of something inevitable happening. I once told my parents I wasn’t happy with a list of things (laughs). My wife and I talked about this: Do you remember the moment you started telling your parents what didn’t please you? I know my kids will tell me at some point, too, and it will always be things you didn’t expect. Even now, I can still defend my choices.

Marius van der Ham poses for a photo after the interview on July 3, 2024. Francis Nderitu | The Nation

Image source: Francis Nderitu Nation Media Group

What question are you asking yourself right now?

(Long pause) The role I play now: Are we the men doing the right things for the teams we work with and is that in line with what we want to achieve in the business? How can we improve? Am I the person my family wants to sit at the table with?

Are you a person of the mind or the heart?

Basically, I like rationality and logic, but I have a family at heart, so this is complicated.

How is that?

I have a very emotional wife, she has a big heart, which is good. My son is three and my daughter is six, and she tends to rely more on her heart than her head at this stage. This forces me to rely more on my heart; sometimes people give me comments that I need more heart.

Is it easy to be a head person in a heart world?

It’s my default setting, so it makes it easy but it doesn’t always make me likeable (laughs).

Have you ever made a decision using your head when you should have used your heart?

You can adapt to the situation, but what is the limit? Maybe five percent? Ten percent? The other ninety percent is you, and if you force yourself to do it, it won’t work. I think so.

What is one thing you wish more people understood about you?

I generally care about the best interests of everyone I work with. As you move up the corporate ladder, decisions become less popular and less easy. You get judged for it, and sometimes I feel like it’s unfair. I can generally deal with it, but sometimes I think, why am I the bad guy here? I wish people would know that this is in the best interests of the person.

They say the higher we go, the lonelier we become. Is the same true for you?

To some extent. I have a good management team, so we rely on each other for support. When you’re the one who has to make the final decision, it can feel a bit lonely.

What does it do for you as a man?

I never exercised. Throughout my 30s, I did general fitness, going to the gym, running, which is what I like to do to relax.

How much do you usually run?

I was training for the Luau Marathon which unfortunately got cancelled. I do it once a week but now I’m doing more. I’ve done a half marathon, a marathon or two etc.

What do you think about when you exercise?

It depends on the circumstances. Things come suddenly. When I’m training, I count my steps, I look at my speed and try to calculate the distance and time. This has become routine for me now. Sometimes, I have great ideas while running, just like people who have ideas in the shower.

What is the most boring part of running?

The hard part is getting out the door, haha! It’s not boring, especially here, because running in the Netherlands is very easy, there are no hills, but here, after every kilometer or so, there is a hill waiting for you (laughs).

Have you encountered any strange situations during your training?

Lots of monkeys and a rooster. That’s why I was so excited for the Luau Marathon. We’ll try again next year; hopefully our tickets will still be valid, haha!

How do people show you love?

I love being with my friends, having drinks at a big table, and just talking. I’ve been with the same group of friends since high school, for over 30 years. We go away every weekend, and the only thing we look for other than housing is a big table (laughs). We love that table where we can just talk.

What do you bring to this table?

I’m a bit of a joke person. I like to keep things light and the group atmosphere relaxed. But I also like to have deep, serious conversations and share advice with each other.

What is a special memory you have shared with your friends that is close to your heart?

When we were kids, it was about getting our first job, and when we grew up it was about radical changes – losing our parents, etc. We live in different parts of the world, but at this table, we understand each other.

What was less important than you thought?

Your title and position. If you don’t act in a way that makes it easy for you to deal with the people who make up your life, it won’t matter who you are or who you claim to be.

What did you finally come up with?

The easy answer is that I probably won’t become a professional footballer. At least not anymore (laughs). I’m an ambitious person, but I’ve learned that striving for something and developing towards it is an achievement in itself. You don’t need to achieve everything you set your mind to.

What is the soundtrack to your life right now?

Well, I’m a bit of a softie, so you’ll find me watching some romantic comedies, and my wife will say, Are those tears in your eyes? Of course I’ll shake my head, haha! But in music, I’m a rocker, and Guns N’ Roses is my favorite band.

What is the most romantic thing you have ever done?

You’re putting me in an awkward position here. Well, without giving everything away, my wife and I were struggling to have children, and it took a long time, and of course it was hard, especially for my wife. What I used to do was write little notes and hide them around the house, in her purse, and at her work place. They were little, personal notes to encourage her, and eventually it worked.

If you could tell me just one thing, what would you tell me?

Haven’t I told you enough? (Laughs.) I don’t know, Eddie.

Well, who do you know that I should know?

Tough question! I’m at my wit’s end here. (Long pause)

Well, what do you know that I should know?

Everyone should know that they should try to keep their ego as low as possible. The most successful leaders understand this: if you can keep your ego down, it means that your ears are open and you understand the dynamics around you. You should know that, Eddie.

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