Sebastian Groth’s fear of missing out

Given enough time, anyone can get used to almost anything. Character will grow around adversity in the same way that tree roots grow around a rock, shaping itself in response to what is constant.

This is how I imagine Ambassador Sebastian Groth's Kairos moment when he turned 50 and was having a mid-life crisis and realized that maybe this was the case. The runway is getting shorter. Winter is here. He thought about the possibilities: He could have become a famous jazz musician. man of a good will. both of them?

But he walked from the curtain to the stage as Germany's ambassador to Kenya, which is no small achievement. In his navy blue suit, he combines simplicity with authority: he is intelligent, silky but impersonal – a statesman – because this is the paean to power. But Mr. Groth is not like that.

Behind that veneer of impenetrable stoicism is a man trying to live a comfortable life, moving to the rhythm of his moment – this moment – like a sonnet flickering in the background of the ambassador's residence on Nairobi's High Ridge, like a dying candle. Set fire to the curtain.

I ask a lot of questions to myself and the environment, and I doubt many things, including myself. It opens up new areas and perspectives. I'm 51, not old but also not young – I try to be open.

(Pause) Several questions. I read a lot about philosophy, politics and history. But above all, it's about how to be at peace with myself and my environment.

Yes. This is not my general situation because I am full of energy. I do a lot of sports and music. I have a family. In these moments and the conversations that come with them, I find peace, but music plays a huge role, especially when I'm practicing alone for an hour or so.

I started playing classical piano when I was eight years old. When I was 15, I got into jazz. Playing here is the most satisfying thing I've ever done.

Urm, I grew up in a small village. It was a mountainous area, and I remember the first spring. Winter was gray and cold, but in the spring I felt like life had returned. We took trips and bike tours around our village.

When you are a child, you take things as they are without prejudice. When you're growing up, you compare things, but when you're a kid, things are absolute.

I had friends who called me “Professor” because I knew everything better. My sister always calls me 'Basti'.

Interest in aesthetic matters in literature, arts, music, and politics. In my childhood, I used to read heavy newspapers, and even now I am addicted to newspapers.

Kairos By German writer Jenny Erpenbeck, recent winner of the Booker Prize. It is a powerful book, both literally and historically. I read another book by Annie Ernault, who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2022. It is about herself; Growing up in France in the '50s and '90s, how she picked up small, contemporary things in her life and built a bigger story out of those small things — and from a female perspective, which is very important. I lived in France, and I'm completely attached to it.

Haha! I like it when things aren't so rough. More relaxed and informal.

It's not easy because you have a lot of expectations. We are 90 people at the embassy, ​​and the kind of respect you received for your position was new to me, especially outside Nairobi. I didn't expect the media to be so tough on me either.

The ideal is 50/50. I took three months off with my first child. But to be honest, I worked a lot. Now, if there is a two-hour gap (in my schedule), I can go home and spend time with my family.

Different. Being a father is an existential challenge, and being an ambassador is a mission to accomplish. The parent-child relationship is a unique thing.

Borderline. There's this ideal role of what a father should be, I try but I don't always succeed. The older your children get, the more you have to lose. My sister told me the most important thing is to keep the channels open and not lose touch with your children.

Time and energy. In the weekly rhythm, spending quality time together can be very difficult.

Trying to have a musical career is tempting, whether in jazz or classical. I have a job, but I can do music on the side.

Everyday things can happen, politically in your host country or country. As a man, I have moments when I think: Did I do the right thing? Have I been too harsh, have I set the right priorities?

Pfft. This is difficult. When I turned 50 last year, I spoke to our housekeeper — she was here with me when I was in Kenya 20 years ago, too — and she said congratulations. I was having a midlife crisis, maybe not, and I told her it was a bit hard for me. She told me: No, be grateful. There's this fear of missing out — it's a symptom of society that you have to be a part of everything, and if you miss this concert or event or thing, you're not at the forefront anymore. Just be relaxed.

Music, sports, reading, sometimes watching TV and sitting in the garden. Unfortunately, I'm not exactly gifted at doing things myself. We have a dog now too.

It's been a beautiful year, I think. A short, compact tune with a beautiful melody. The first half was beautiful (laughs).

No, in a way, especially from the age of 30 to 35, you pretend to know a lot. I'm more willing to talk about doubts and failure now than I was then. The more you try to understand, the more questions you have.

(Pause) I admire people who lay down their lives in the service of others. They are trying to serve their communities and I think sometimes I should do more in that regard, but my time is limited.

I'm a relatively open person. I judge a lot but I try to do it less and accept people more. I'm trying to be more chill about things, and now I just said relax for the fifth time, haha! I trust the people I work with a lot and let them do their job and only come in when necessary.

Improvisation. On the musical side, you have a certain style and harmony, but improvisation is something I learned through music.

Nice talking to you, haha! What makes me happy is looking at the garden and seeing nature and monkeys in the trees – the way I feel now in Kenya affects your senses. It's very sensual to be here. Air, vegetables, music, etc. I appreciate this very much.

Someone once told me I was loved.