Asim Shah entered his office one morning, his mind focused and his goals clear. He studied business strategy, admired successful executives, and prepared himself to lead his family’s tent manufacturing company.
Maybe his story would have taken a different direction if everything had followed his plans.
But the weight of expectations, resistance from some employees, juggling finances without losing anything, and his own internal battles soon took their toll and saw him struggle with depression.
It was in 2012 when he first noticed something was off.
“Looking back, I always had challenges, even in high school and college abroad, but they never surfaced as severe,” he says.
His voice tightened as he remembered: “Suddenly, I couldn’t concentrate, and I had panic attacks that I can’t explain.”
One day, a wave of panic became so intense that he couldn’t breathe — a moment he now considers a nervous breakdown. This was the catalyst that led him to a psychiatrist.
Asim, CEO of Tarpo Industries, has been diagnosed with clinical depression.
Running an event company specializing in durable fabric for shelter and overall event management was challenging.
As CEO, the 39-year-old spent days perfecting designs and evenings discussing financial strategies.
However, slowly, the long working hours – often 14 or more hours each day – and the constant push for innovation and leadership began to take their toll.
“There was a very big battle in management ways. You see, 99 percent of the employees were loyal to my father, who had run the company for decades. I was struggling with acceptance,” he says.
Due to the demanding nature of his work, Asim did not have enough time to communicate with people outside the office. Most of his friends were in the United Kingdom, where he studied.
“I guess I didn’t know how to handle myself when I was going downhill, and not everyone at work knew how to handle one of their bosses when they got mentally challenged. So, there wasn’t a support system in place.”
After an appointment with a psychiatrist, Asim began a regimen of anti-anxiety medications. But the relief he had hoped for evaded him. The medication, intended to calm his nerves, was clouding his mind, leaving him unable to think clearly or coordinate simple tasks.
“Within a week, I couldn’t walk in a straight line. I couldn’t get up in the morning. I was like a zombie and was in bed for 16-20 hours a day. This also meant I couldn’t go to work or drive due to my loss of coordination.
Asim stopped. Then it continues. “Often, I would hear my pulse in my ears. The first few weeks were very scary because I wondered, ‘Is this getting better?’ And it didn’t because I had been on the medication for about eight to nine months when I was able to come off it, much to the dismay of the psychiatrist.” In meditation, my first encounter was to treat the symptoms and not the root cause of what I was experiencing.
One of his support systems referred him to another therapist, who, according to Asim, took a holistic approach and used herbal remedies to support the process of weaning off medication.
“I was able to get off the second try in about eight weeks. Then I went through a few years of deep psychotherapy with the second therapist, and the person I have become now is somewhat influenced by what happened during those roughly five years of intense therapy and psychotherapy.”
Less than workaholics
The new person he became, in his novel, became less of a workaholic. He is also able to guard against fatigue.
“I’ve also been very open with my employees about what I’ve been through, and I never want any of them to go through that. Given the nature of our work, I realized that one day off isn’t enough, so we don’t work over the weekend. The CEO of Tarpo Industries says: “This gives my employees time to connect with their social lives.”
Ultimately, Asim decided to document his journey in a book. Titled “Driving with depressionThe book provides a first look at his journey through ambition, mental health, and leadership.
He says what has surprised him most is the responses he receives from other individuals in leadership positions.
“I cringe at every class,” one person told him. “I’ve been there too, but I never knew how to explain it.”
Others found hope in his story, which helped them better understand a friend or family’s journey facing mental health challenges.
One in four
In Kenya, where pressures to survive are intense, thousands of people suffer from mental health problems. Ministry of Health data shows that at least 25% of the population, one in four individuals, suffer from mental health conditions, with depression and anxiety highlighted as the most prevalent conditions.
“Leaders need to recognize the impact of this pressure, not only on their employees, but on themselves as well. There’s something I wrote about in the book, which is about how we invalidate our feelings based on societal comparisons. Whether on the lower end of Hierarchical or higher, we all experience stress, which is unique to each individual, but the intensity is the same.”
Inspired by his experiences, something changed in his workplace.
“I’ve encouraged my employees to act as coaches to support each other. We’ve also put in place policies that prioritize rest, including mandatory annual leave. This has inspired other companies, with friends telling me they’ve adopted similar changes.
“Today, I still work hard, but I’m careful. I know my limits, and I make sure my team knows theirs, too. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that success means nothing if you lose yourself along the way,” he says.
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